\[\left( 4x^{2} - 2xy + y^{2} \right) - (*) = {3x}^{2} + 2xy\]
\[(*) = 4x^{2} - 2xy + y^{2} - \left( 3x^{2} + 2xy \right)\]
\[(*) = 4x^{2} - 2xy + y^{2} - 3x^{2} - 2xy\]
\[(*) = x^{2} - 4xy + y^{2}.\]